Of all the things that concern us, that worry us, this week of all weeks, with 9/11 in mind, and the war in mind, of all the things that alarm us, the Golden Calf of the Sinai desert is probably not near the top of many lists. The original incident was brief, hardly measurable, a blip on the screen while the people of Israel were wandering in the desert for forty years after their Exodus from Egypt. But it remains one of the few things most 21st century Americans could tell you about the Old Testament - The Garden of Eden, Samson and Delilah, Jonah and the Whale, the Flood, and the Golden Calf. Even without being on the nightly news, an astounding number of people have heard of the Golden Calf. It has an enduring appeal, this story of the forging of the Golden Calf. It is a compelling story, well-told, and believable. But it also has a sinister side, this recounting of the first, and by no means last, attempt by people in trouble to make for themselves a god out of whatever is at hand In my ministry, I encounter a great deal of serious seeking after God, a searching for spiritual enlightenment, attempts at discerning the purpose and plans our God might have in store. And a lot of ups and down in that search, a lot of disappointments and discouragements. And ... I have seen a fair share of fair attempts at fashioning a new god because it has been too long since you heard from the old one. And as for God's spokesmen, well, they are certainly not what they used to be either. But that’s not new. The Israelites grumbled - "as for this Moses, we don't know what has become of him." Time to take matters into our own hands, and bring forth a god for the here and now, for our needs and tastes. In times of spiritual longing, in times of spiritual desperation, in times of acute spiritual crisis, there is the tendency to crave something very particular, very concrete, very available. We want definite rights and wrongs, clear-cut heroes and villains. I do not wish to seem to minimize the present outrage over outrageous behavior by politicians of every party, but we need to acknowledge that decisions about someone else’s personal morality are usually a minefield for people like Christians who are commanded by our Lord to avoid hypocrisy. I realize that it is a gross simplification of the present national trauma, but part of the fury and anger is caused by frustration and worry and anxiety unrelated to clear misbehavior in airports, with fundraising, with general shenanigans in Washington. The upset that uncertainty and anxiety produce can bring forth a search for someone to blame, a leader to criticize: “As for this Moses …”, the Israelites muttered with judgmental disgust. We are traumatized, not just by Washington, by China, by Baghdad, by baffling diseases, by a volatile stock market, and by the specter of worldwide economic chaos and environmental degradation, by rampant terrorism. All very serious stuff, but it was, if possible, a worse mess in the Sinai desert. Picture yourself wandering, maybe lost, at least directionless, no idea where you are headed, when you are going to get there, if ever, not even sure where There is, and God, the old God, the God who used to be around, available, isn't giving clear answers or issuing definite instructions. And his spokesmen are increasingly ineffectual, uncertain themselves, or just absent, gone somewhere - who knows? Well, why not start to melt down the jewelry? Why not start to consider alternatives, to look around you, creatively, imaginatively, and lay hold of anything that is at hand and seems precious and worthwhile and valuable, and make something of it, form it, appropriate it, cast it into some coherent image, some compelling symbolism, a usable, identifiable, particular thing, and then try it out, try it on as a governing divinity, a focus for your spiritual confusion and then start to relate to that creation, proceed along the vague wilderness way with That item or idea going before and leading you on. Is tempting ... Golden calves can be grotesquely obvious or surprisingly subtle. Some helpful but limited spiritual advice that is often handed out in times of trouble is to just picture God in any way that is helpful to you, that means something to you. A good place to start, an excellent way, provided it does not degenerate into God-making. Understanding God in your own way is wonderful, remaking him or making up a "new him" to fit your limitations is not a good thing to be doing. I am not interested in any advice that says I will make real spiritual progress and receive genuine help in time of need as long as I at least conceive a God. Sure, that's a start, but that's all it is, the barest beginning. What I can conceive, I know won't help, it never has, that's what causes all the problems. Only that which I cannot adequately conceive, cannot fully comprehend, cannot fathom, is ever going to end up being God. Only that which I could never invent of fabricate on my own will ever help me. That which I devise will not save me from the consequences of all the other things I unwisely devise. One more contrivance of mine is not going to redeem me from the ill effects of all my other, previous contrivances, no matter how worthwhile, noble, elegant, precious that contrivance is. it could be golden, and it’s still worthless. Now this is not to say, this is not to suggest, that you cannot be enlightened by the profound spiritual insights of people from quite different and varying spiritual traditions. We seek God as he manifests himself through the whole realm of truth and wisdom. Episcopalians believe that the God of all truth is to be discerned in all genuine truth of whatever origin. I am not cheerleading for the wisdom and rightness of the Episcopal Church or insisting that it is perfect. But I am speaking against taking a little of this and a little of that, most of it out of its own spiritual context and much of it misunderstood, and then fashioning that molten material into a Calf that I like, that I think will suffice, that will be an adequate, even improved, replacement for a former God who no longer satisfies me. I love this denomination, and I seek no other, but Episcopalians, may I suggest especially High-Church Episcopalians, are not immune to golden calves, or in a pinch, good-grade sterling silver ones. We can exaggerate the importance of unimportant aspects of religion. We need to be scrupulous in never exalting them to any central place, we need always to acknowledge that they are peripheral and of optional observance, calves placed along the edges of our worship, an attractive addition, but not essential to the faith. Anglo-Catholics need always to beware of that which is so aesthetically attractive or personally appealing, or historically endearing, that we gather a bit of this and a bit of that, and then fashion it into something better; some elaboration that wonderfully satisfies our own interests and needs and tastes, but competes with the singularity of God - little golden calves, not in place of God, to be sure, but possibly as distracting additions to God. Golden calves nonetheless. If it illuminates God for you, if it helps you to see him more clearly, follow him more nearly, love him more dearly, well and good, it is of God. Whatever the custom, or the observance or ceremony or tradition. But if some religious idiosyncrcy, that you treasure, obscures God for you, minimizes him, cheapens and devalues him, reduces him, then it is a golden calf. There are for every Christian, as there were for the Israelites in the desert, impressions of God's absence: the long, lonely stretches, the quiet, silent times, that seem endless, the times when we feel unheard, uncared for, abandoned. It is most often then that we face the temptation to whip something up, a little golden something that we can regard and see and touch, something real, something here and now, something I can be sure of, something I can believe in because it is undeniably there, shining gold in the sunlight. During difficult times, we may well face the temptation to become spiritually hyperactive: the zealous resolution that I am not going to wait quietly, patiently, impotently, I am going to bestir myself and do something, discover something, discern something, and if need be, invent something, craft something, fashion something that will help, that will stand me in good stead, that will exist for me. And I’ll call it: God-as-I-understand-him. If I understand him, he ain’t God. And it doesn't have to be something we create out of melted-down jewelry forged in the Sinai sun, we can use almost any ingredient to make the calf: a person, a love affair, a commitment, a promise, a fantasy, a concept, an ideal, we can use anything and have that serve as god in place of God, instead of God. It is something that we as conscientious Christians need to be wary of: it is going on superficially in the political arena, and on a deep, aching level in all of our national life. "The people gathered around Aaron and said to him, Come make gods for us." The people, then and now, clamoring for certainty and direction and clarity, at any cost, even if it has to be manufactured, made up, fabricated, as long as there is something to see, to point to, to hold on to, to behold, to be convinced of, to believe in. It is idolatry. We will be lucky if we only end up with golden calves and not other monstrous creations that take on lives of their own and cannot easily be broken up by a strong and faithful Moses when he returns. Whenever you are wandering, worrying, feeling lost and abandoned - believe in God, the real God. The God who loves you. The God who cannot be replaced.