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THE 2nd SUNDAY AFTER THE EPIPHANY ST MARY'S CHURCH 20 January 2008 Phoenix, AZ |
When we are rejected, it hurts. It even hurts, and hurt badly, when we perceive hat we have been rejected. You know, it hurts even when we know that a change is right, what should be, what we have said we wanted. It can still hurt.
This is not just us at our worst, and most fearful. It is also the saints of the Church, and the heroes of our Faith, at their best, and most faithful.
It hurts when we are passed over, set aside, when we become less important than we once were in someone's life. And we have a vivid image of that this morning.
John the Baptist, the Prophet, the great Forerunner of the Messiah, the man of whom Jesus said "none born of woman was greater." John is courageous, faithful, and godly. He has long predicted with joy the coming of the Messiah. He has longed for it, with surely genuine modesty he has longed for the arrival of the One "whose sandals he will not be worthy to stoop down and untie." And the moment he knew would come, did at last come, and to John's obvious and evident joy.
And, modest, unassuming, devout man that he was, he accepted that with peace. He knew in his heart it was right. And good. And a joyful thing. When Jesus appeared, he, John himself, said -- that he, Jesus, must increase, and John himself, must decrease. The greater had come. What he had spoken of, predicted, longed for, wanted, had come. And that was now more important than John himself.
But it had to hurt. It had to. Look at this morning's Gospel. John said: "Behold, there is the Lamb of God," as he sees Jesus walk by. And two of John's disciples, his faithful followers, two who surely loved him and respected him, and whom he loved, Andrew and his friend, hear what John says and see what he points out. And they leave. They follow Jesus, as they should. And they follow at once, as they should. And they leave John, then and there, with apparently not even a glance behind. They are gone.
It must have hurt. It had too.
That which he has longed for what he knows to be of God, has come to pass. And he must have been happy. But it must have hurt.
He was more than succeeded, he was replaced. Set aside. It would have broken my heart! I have faith, but I also have feelings. You do. John did.
This week I had a moment, not sad, and not really pitying myself, despite how it may first sound. Just newly diagnosed with yet another tiresome complication. I no longer process oxygen adequately and am set up with oxygen delivery all night, and portable tanks by day. The main, night-time unit is huge and undisguisable. It is fine, but an ambiguous assistance.
On the other hand, so, so happily, I did something else this week--I hired a new young handy-man to make minor repairs about the Rectory. He is Ryan Delahunt, a six-five strapping young man, now making his way in life. I saw for a second a ghost slip across my sight: Ryan, gangly kid in my Youth Group here in 1999--short, skinny, smiley, but timid. I defended him once - oh, only verbally of course - when he was being nastily scolded by some mistaken huckster at Young's Farm Pumpkin Festival in Dewy--an annual jaunt with the kids at Halloween. A little tow-headed boy was very grateful, and gave me a beam I clearly remember today. This week, now hired by me to do all the demanding tasks around a house I can no longer possibly do. A man so mature and self-possessed, he glanced at the huge oxygen-maker, and never said a word, or looked puzzled. You know how grandiose I can be--I felt a bit like John the Baptist just then!
Life does unfold and roll on, I know full-well and believe utterly, it does so as God intends, appoints, and oversees. It is all in his hands, his perfect hands. But still, still, sometimes my feelings are hurt, when something, somewhere says silently--"that was then, this is now." I have been more blessed than many of you--situations say that to me, people do not. Many of you, I know, must deal with people who do--must deal with relationships, friendships, marriages even, when you must say--"it is God's plan, it is all in his hands", when someone you loved and treasured has said in some way, by some action or look, has essentially said: "That was then, this is now." God's plan, yes, doubtless, but you will be hurt, your feelings will be hurt. Doubtless.
One great way that great man, the one whom none, born of woman, is greater, one great thing he can say, and help us see, and someday say: "I must decease, this people who were with me, honored and cared for me, are going to leave me. And I must rejoice that I have the day, the day, the season, the year, the moment appointed, intended, consecrated by God to the unfolding of his purpose for us and all his Faithful People. I believe, I must believe, I do believe, that he knows it hurts, and he wants us to know that it is he who will heal that hurt. He, and that glorious Lamb of God.